Always on the run...

If you've hooked up with someone and he only says hello to you if you have a face-to-face run-in (with unavoidable eye contact)... otherwise pretending that he does not see you while he's standing 2 feet away... scream inside, try not to hate him, and absolutely do NOT date him New York!!!

It feels like every time I think of him, I'll run into him....
but it just might be that I know that I'm going to run into him, which makes me think of him!?!?!?

Boys in Babeland

If you and your friend are in Babeland holding a few vibrating vibrators and a creepy old man tries to make conversation with you (along the lines of "guys need toys too"), don't date him New York!

Mission Impossible???

Some of my very close friends know about my secret mission for this summer...

I am here to report that when it comes to this mission, my summer is not off to a good start.

The trip to Miami didn't even produce a good story, although I had a great time chillaxin with the City Socialites and catching up with some old friends that live down there.

I must admit, this Memorial Day weekend did have some interesting tales...

Friday night got off to an early start down at the Shore where my friend had a theme party for her birthday. It was like college - we played Beer Pong, Flip Cup, and Darts. Lots of fun!!!

The next morning I woke up in a different bed than I went to sleep on and I had no pants on.

Although I have absolutely NO IDEA how this happened, I'm not too worried... because when I do have drunken black outs, I remember if I hooked up with someone (maybe not specific details and surely not conversations leading up to or following the hook up, but definitely the person - at the very least) and I don't. In addition, I was alone in the bed.

Are you thinking that this is what Afterschool Specials are made up of???

As you may imagine, I woke up with a MASSIVE hangover on this confusing Saturday morning, but still managed to make an appearance on the beach.

What can I say - I'm a Trooper!

Then I scheduled to meet up with my buddy that has a share down at the shore too.

Alcohol was not appealing to me, but him and his roommates were heading to a bar by the time I got there. So here we go again.

Did I mention eating anything yet? No. That's because I didn't... and you know what that means???

DRUNK GIRL - 2 drinks and she's down (all pun intended)!!!

This guy, Bad Boy, in my buddy's share asked me if I wanted to leave the bar and get some food with him... BRILLIANT!!!

The saying goes that it's the way to a man's heart, but on Saturday night, the way to this lady's heart (area) was through the stomach.

*** By the way, why is one slice of pizza there as big as my NY coffee table??? It was huge (but I'll get to him later)!!! ***

Having a conversation with Bad Boy reminded me of the hot tub scene with Teddy & Heidi from 8th & Ocean... "You're cute." "I like you." "Do you like me?" "I want to kiss you." "You're really cute."

With the addition of "When I first saw you I knew we would have a connection. Is that bad? I think you and me can be an ITEM when we get back to the city. Is that bad?"

Uhhhhhhhhhh... kill yourself!!!

Inevitably, we went back to the house and made out. I was straight forward with Bad Boy and told him that I was not going any further than that.

He said that he was fine with that... but, of course, a little later as our kissing got intense, he got extremely turned on. Meanwhile, the more he said, the more turned off I was getting.

He told me he had a huge dick (yes, I'll say it...it's too big).

When I would not go there, he persuaded "just the tip" and when I started laughing at him, he joined in and said "I can't believe I just said that!!!!"

Yeah... me neither!!!

To round off the weekend, I got back into the city early and decided to catch a drink after a little.... uhhhh.... window shopping (see Boys in Babeland).

Gold digger told these guys at the bar that I was bilingual and one of them, Green Card, was obsessed with speaking to me. While spit-talking with smelly breath all over us, he drew a map of the native country on an index card (which he had a stack of apparently), numbering the order of which I should visit each area, enticing me to call him so that I can borrow his joke book, and taking out his empty wallet to show me his name on some form of identification.

This was quite the eventful weekend!!!

Next week - the Hamptons.

Tips from some friends...

• There's a platonic male friend that you have for years that invites you to be his date for a social event (Why wouldn't he? You're hot, you dress well, and most importantly, you're a socialite in the making).
  
  You both get trashed and wind up hooking up (Didn't see that one coming, did you?)
  
  The next time you two hang out, he winds up paying, you get tipsy, and you hook up again.
  A few more nights like this and in NY terms, you are now dating.
  
  This isn't a fairy tale... afterall, you know way too much about each other to have a good relationship!!!
  
  Just because he is a great guy as a friend, does not mean he will make a good boy friend or even a good sexual partner.
  
  Surely there are some exceptions to the rule (as there always are) but if you accidently start hooking up with your buddy, don't date him New York!
  
  
• If you are in bed with a lover when suddenly he stands up, folds your clothes, and piles them on your naked body... seconds after you have completed the act, don't date him New York.
  
  
• If he asks (right after he pulls out) "if you were to get pregnant, you would get an abortion, right?"... don't date him New York.